This says it all, really

I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t play games so I can get depressed about some old man I’ve got no connection with who walks from one end of the room to the other trying not to shit his pants. That’s pretty much the premise of this depressing, anti-climactic, waste of time game. It’d be great if there were an actual story here, but all we have are vague semblances of the idea of a story.

Let’s take the assumption that I didn’t like it.

GAMEPLAY
Where should I begin? The guy takes forever to walk from one end of the room to the other. This can make it challenging if you’re over by the nurse and your energy bar’s about to go kaput, or 3 steps away from the bathroom when your bladder bar’s almost out. As the status bars empty, you’re given stimulants, diapers, feeding tubes and anti-depressants – which actually improve the gameplay by removing the useless functions of pooping, eating and sleeping.

Oh, shit!

GRAPHICS
While it is an indie arthouse game, and I have admittedly seen worse graphics, this faux-NES style doesn’t work for it. Though, I suppose that pixelated diapers are better having a 3d model of the old man with his arse hanging out of his gown. There isn’t really a lot to say about the graphics.

OPINIONS
This game is meant be a heartwarming tale about a sad old man who lives out his days doing nothing but eating, sleeping, pooping and talking to the nurse, showing the loneliness of those who are over the last ridge on the descent to death as the man descends into Alzheimer’s, dementia, whatever kind of stereotypical bollocks that he’s decided that old people get. It’s meant to fill the archetype of the chronologically advantaged. Now, I’m not one for political correctness, (in fact, I’ve been known to say things along the lines of “f**k political correctness in the ear!”) but this kind of takes the piss. I haven’t met every elderly person alive, though I know a whole bunch of them. Most of them are in better shape than I am, physically and mentally. They can fell trees, run marathons, fight bears. That may be attributed to the cocoons in the swimming pool at my grandfather’s retirement complex, but regardless. I don’t know if it did it on purpose, but this game actually made me want to punch the author. In the face.

Everyone dies alone.